Cardinal Responsibility
by avidfan23
Summary: Jane's dark day... A look into Jane's mind as he deals with what he feels is his greatest responsibility.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I would really appreciate any reviews so that I can work on improving my writing! Also, feel free to leave any suggests as to what direction you would like to see this story go. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I wish... **

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Patrick Jane walked in to the CBI headquarters early Monday morning hoping that he would be able to catch a nap on his comfortable leather couch before the rest of the team came in for their regular work day, not that any work day was ever regular at the CBI mind you. As he rounded the corner and approached the bullpen he could feel his eyelids drooping and he was really looking forward to some alone time and maybe, just maybe, being able to actually sleep for once.

Ever since his wife and daughter had been killed by Red John he hadn't been able to sleep more than a couple hours at a time because every time he closed his eyes he would revisit the scene where he opened the door and found them butchered and bloody in front of his eyes. He would always wake up in a panic and have to fight to keep the tears at bay; crying wouldn't help them anyways. The only thing that kept him going was the thought of someday catching up with the serial killer and making him pay for what he had done. Jane was starting to lose sight of this objective though because what with all the events that were occurring in the office as of late, he hadn't had much of a chance to review the case files and see if there was anything from one of the previous cases that might help him find the killer, any clue he might have missed. It also didn't help that Red John had chosen this particular time to lay low; Red John hadn't killed anyone since Bosco and his team were found dead inside the CBI building itself. That thought made Jane a little bit wary. It meant that Red John must be planning something- something big and Jane was quite certain that he did not want to know what it was.

Jane shook his head slightly in the attempt to clear it of his thoughts. He meant to be trying to catch up on a little sleep rather than thinking about how best to catch Red John. There would be plenty of time to think about that later. Today he had more important things to think about. Jane removed his jacket and lay down on the couch, using it as a makeshift blanket while he napped. He was just settling in and feeling sleep threaten to envelop him when he heard a rustling sound coming from the hallway. He decided that the safest thing to do would be to keep feigning sleep because he really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now.

The footsteps grew louder as the newcomer approached Jane's couch but he didn't open his eyes to check who it was. His other sense felt a little bit heightened and he thought that he could smell a hint of cinnamon before he heard the footsteps slowly fading away towards the other end of the long room.

'Lisbon is here early,' he thought to himself. He was quite glad that she didn't try to talk to him, not that he doesn't like her- he definitely does, maybe a little more than he lets on even, but today is for him and right now he does not feel like talking to anyone. Even Lisbon.

Jane continued to lie on the couch but sleep seemed to elude him once more and he quickly grew frustrated with trying. He didn't much feel like being at the office today of all days and with a sudden burst of inspiration he stood up, pulled his jacket over his shoulders and made his way over to Lisbon's office.

He thought of just walking right in but he decided that it might be safer to knock first. It was still early and there was no guarantee that Lisbon had had her morning coffee yet; Jane didn't much feel like disturbing an un-caffeinated Lisbon when he knew for a fact she was at her grouchiest in the morning hours. He couldn't risk her mood interfering with his plan. It was too important for that. With that thought in mind he reached up and knocked softly on her office door. He almost smiled a little bit when he saw her jump a little as she looked up from her desk, she clearly didn't realize that he was awake. She motioned for him to come in and so he tentatively pushed open her door and slipped inside.

"Good morning Jane," she started. "I was just about to call everyone in, we have a ca…"

"Please stop right there for a second, Lisbon." He said. "I have a small favour to ask of you." She looked up at him curiously wondering what on earth he could possibly want so early in the morning.

"What is it Jane?" She asked carefully.

"I was wondering if it might be at all possible for you and the team to take the case without me this time. There is something of great importance that I have to attend to." He spoke quietly while looking at her with a neutral expression hiding his emotions quite well. Lisbon could tell that he had put on a mask to hide what he was planning to do and this made her highly suspicious. Nothing good could come from granting his request.

"What is it that is so important that it has to take you away from this case?" She asked sternly.

"I am afraid I cannot tell you that." Jane replied bluntly.

Lisbon had to keep herself from rolling her eyes. How many times had he strategically neglected to tell her things? She had told him in no uncertain terms that she did not need him to protect her and that is always what he was trying to do when he chose not to inform her of his plans.

Jane looked at her intensely and saw her thoughts echoed on her face. "I promise that I am not going to do anything that could even possibly get you or the CBI into trouble," he assured her but she was still not convinced.

"Please Lisbon?"

He looked so serious and almost sad that she gave in. She rarely saw him like this and she found that her curiosity peaked when he said that his plans for the day had nothing whatsoever to do with the CBI. Much like her, he didn't have a huge life outside of the job and so she wondered what he had in mind.

Jane thanked her and exited the office without another word or even a smile. He left the building and headed towards his car just as Van Pelt was heading in to start her day.

"Good morning Jane!" the rookie said cheerfully as she gave him one of her brightest smiles. Jane gave her a little nod as he started to head towards his car but he didn't say anything. Van Pelt's smile faded a little as she turned, clearly confused about his gloomy response, and headed into the confines of the CBI building.

Jane opened the door of his car and climbed in just before a heavy rain started to fall. It wasn't common for it to rain in California, but the change in weather seemed to fit his mood perfectly. He backed out of the parking space and headed off towards the highway, windshield wipers working at full speed as the rain picked up. It was going to be a long drive and there were a couple of things that he had to do before he reached his destination.

**T.B.C.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: This story is based on the song "Lucy" by Skillet. I think that this song pretty much reflects Jane's relationship with his wife and/or daughter. I still don't quite know where this is going, but any suggestions would be appreciated!**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

Van Pelt rushed up to the office in search of Lisbon. The red head was out of breath as she ran up the few flights of stairs leading to the bullpen. She whipped around the corner at high speed and practically collided with Lisbon.

"Boss," she began hastily, "Do you know what is wrong with Jane? He was just leaving the CBI and he looked really upset! I've never seen him like that before."

Lisbon couldn't help but notice the concern etched into Van Pelt's face as she spoke. This really was strange behaviour for Jane. Lisbon knew that Jane often carefully hid his real self and emotions. Flashing one of his bright smiles was enough to mislead anyone at any time. She did her best to reassure the younger agent before heading to her office to think.

Maybe she should call him, just to make sure that he was ok? Lisbon wasn't sure what to do- she felt that he needed space but she didn't know why. She reached for her cell phone and started to dial his number, her hands shaking a little bit as she did so. As she pressed the phone up to her ear, she held her breath, hoping for him to pick up but she gave up after twelve rings. Where could he be? She stood up and headed out to the bullpen hoping to maybe find a clue as to where he might have gone. She didn't want to admit it, but she worried about him.

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Jane parked at the bottom of his driveway and exited the car, leaving the keys in the ignition and the car running. He only had to stop for a minute so that he could pick up a few things before he kept on going to his final destination. He half walked, half ran up the driveway and towards his house.

Ever since the day he found his family dead in his bedroom, he tried to avoid the place as much as he could. The only times he ever really returned were the days when he needed a small push to remind him of the task at hand: finding and killing Red John. He owed them that much, after all, protecting them was his responsibility and he let them down because of his arrogance and greed.

Jane unlocked and pushed open the front door before going inside and heading upstairs. He went straight for the room at the end of the hall, reliving the memories with every step. He reached his hand out for the door knob, twisting it slowly and opening the door to reveal the red smiley face- the last piece of evidence that his wife and daughter really lived, that blood ran through them. What he wouldn't give to be able to hold them in his arms again and tell them that he loved them…

A lump rose in Jane's throat as he made his way to the mattress in the corner of the room that passed for his bed. He was angry at himself for feeling this emotional; now was not the time, there were still many things that he had to do first. He sat down on the mattress and rested his head in his hands, trying to regain his composure by breathing in and out slowly. After a couple of slow minutes he stood up grabbing the small cardboard box that was resting right beside his bed as he went. He made a hasty exit from his room and headed down towards the kitchen where he grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels before rushing out the door and back to his waiting car.

He just had one more stop to make before he could go.

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Cho was walking past Jane's couch when he spotted something lying on the floor, half hidden by the large piece of furniture. He bent over to pick it up.

"What's that?" Rigsby, who had been watching with a keen interest, asked as Cho crouched to retrieve the object.

"I'm not sure… it looks like an envelope or something." Cho replied stoically.

"I would have never guessed that," Rigsby answered sarcastically, "It must have fallen out of Jane's pocket while he was lying down. I wonder what's inside."

Neither man noticed Van Pelt sneak up behind them but Rigsby jumped as she grabbed the envelope from his hands just as he was about to open it.

"I don't think its right to go through other people's things," she said haughtily, "whatever it is Jane was trying to keep it from us, so we should respect his privacy."

With that she turned on her heel and headed straight for Lisbon's office with the envelope. As much as she didn't want the guys snooping through Jane's things, she knew that Lisbon was concerned about him so she thought that if anyone had the right to know what was in the envelope, it was her.

Lisbon seemed to agree and anxiously took the envelope from Van Pelt before opening it and peering inside. She pulled out a piece of paper and read it carefully; all the while her stomach was growing increasingly unsettled.

"Oh my Goodness!" Lisbon muttered quietly, winning a concerned look from Van Pelt. "I think I know where Jane is and what is wrong." She folded the paper back up and tucked it inside of the envelope, grabbed her coat and ran out of her office towards the elevators.

"Where's she off to in such a hurry?" Rigsby asked.

Cho turned to look at him before replying curtly, "No idea."

Lisbon could only hope that she made it to Jane before he had the chance to do anything really stupid.

**T.B.C**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this so far! I really appreciate it **** I'm sorry that this chapter is so short, but I am in the middle of finals and am severely procrastinating on studying for those. Somehow this seems more interesting- go figure…**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. **

Patrick Jane drove for what felt like hours but was, in reality, only about twenty minutes. He hadn't travelled the country roads in a while and even just the calming action of driving without thinking much was a small consolation. He passed a familiar sign on the road and took it as an indication to turn left and head towards a small town just outside of Sacramento where he immediately stopped by a roadside stand that was selling flowers.

He stopped and got out of his car to approach the stand. He carefully selected two red roses from the collection of flowers and carried them over to the cashier so that he could pay for them. The cashier smiled at him, clearly thinking that he was about to give these flowers to 'that special someone'. Little did she know…

Patrick took the delicate roses and laid them to rest on the passenger seat of his car. He put the keys in the ignition, backed out of the parking lot, and drove off down the dusty dirt road. It shouldn't take much longer now.

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Lisbon climbed into her CBI-issued SUV and threw it into reverse in order to get it out of the parking lot as fast as she could. Usually she was a very calm and calculated driver and she prided herself on it, but today she knew she had to find Jane, FAST. She had grabbed his address from his file before she left the bureau and she was now heading in the direction of his house. She wasn't entirely sure that he would be there, but she thought that she might find a better clue as to where he was going.

The drive was quite short, but somehow it seemed to be dragging on forever; not even the light music playing on the radio was helping Lisbon to quell her fears. She breathed a sigh of relief as she found Jane's street and turned on to it. She couldn't help but notice the grandeur of the neighbourhood and think that being a fraudulent psychic certainly did pay well. Then she remembered the ultimate cost that he had to endure, losing his family to Red John, as guilt overtook her.

She found his house with ease and clambered out of the car and up the driveway. She reached out to turn the door handle, realizing a little too late that the door would probably be locked and she didn't know where he would keep his spare key. Much to her surprise the door opened with her lightest touch, indicating that in his haste to leave he hadn't even bothered to lock his house. That thought concerned Lisbon even more.

She swung the door open and entered his house, not even bothering to draw her gun.

"Jane!" She called. "Jane, are you in here?"

No response. She tried calling again but to no avail. As she made her way upstairs, she noticed the faded photographs of a woman hugging a smiling toddler and the proud father with his arms around both of them. Lisbon smiled sadly as she took in the sight. Jane never spoke of his family and when he did it was always in relation to Red John. He never described them or told anecdotes of them. Lisbon supposed it was because those memories were much too painful for him, whereas the thirst for revenge came easily.

Lisbon reached the door at the end of the hallway and despite knowing what had occurred in that very room, nothing could have prepared her for the sight of his lonely mattress lying on the ground underneath the classic Red John smiley face. Her knees buckled a little as she entered the room, but if anything were to lead her to Jane, she was fairly sure that it would be in this room.

She was right. As she crossed the room to sit on the mattress, she noticed a calendar lying on top of his bed. She remarked that today's date was circled in red ink and although she wasn't sure why, she had her suspicions. All of a sudden she knew where Jane would be and she also knew that no matter what he would say when he saw her approach him, he needed to know that he was not alone. She would be there for him, no matter what; much like the promise that he made her when he had her do a trust fall so many moons ago.

Lisbon climbed down the stairs and made her way out of his house, taking care to shut and lock the door behind her. She hopped into the SUV and quickly backed out of the driveway and off to the main road.

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Jane sat in his car with his head resting on the steering wheel. Why had he thought that he could go through with this? He was here now, though, so he might as well try. After all, it was his own fault that he was in this predicament. He had not lived up to his responsibility- he had failed.

He reached around the back of the drivers' seat and pulled the small cardboard box and bottle of Jack Daniels toward him. He took a swig of the soothing alcohol before shaking his head in disgust. Mustering all of his courage, he gently reached over and grabbed the red roses from the passenger side and holding them close to his heart, he opened the door and exited the vehicle.

After a couple of steps he stopped and leaned up against the closed Iron Gate before slowly sinking to the ground and drawing his knees up to his chest. He couldn't do it- just couldn't do it and he felt like he had failed all over again. He felt his face grow wet as a steady stream of tears rolled down his cheeks.

**T.B.C.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Thank you again to everyone who has reviewed so far. Please feel free to leave any criticism/suggestions and any ideas about how you want this story to end. Have a great day! **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. **

Lisbon tore down the dirt road that led past the flower stand where Jane had stopped earlier, but she did not know that of course. She had never been this way before but she let her instincts guide her and was fairly confident that she was heading in the right direction. Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw a familiar blue Citroën pulled off to the side of the road. She pulled in and parked behind him, looking around frantically to see where he might be. All of a sudden she noticed someone sitting on the ground slumped up against a large wrought iron gate. She didn't need to get a good look at the person to know who it was; her breath caught in her throat as she noticed his shaking shoulders. She never was good at comforting people, it was something that she always shied away from but here she was, looking at a broken man and she was the only one he had. With that thought she made her decision; she ran over to him and wrapped her arms around him, rubbing reassuring circles on his back as he buried his face into her neck.

They stayed like that for some time before he slowly pulled back and looked down at his hands. Lisbon kept a firm grasp on his hand and rubbed it gently with her thumb as she watched him try and pull himself together. No one spoke for a few minutes until Lisbon rather timidly broke the silence.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked gently. He shook his head no before rising to his feet and starting to make his way back to his car. Lisbon knew what he was doing and she decided that she couldn't let him just walk away. He had come here for a reason and she was going to make sure that he went through with his plans. He would thank her for it later. She jumped up and chased after him, mentally preparing herself for what she knew she had to tell him.

"Jane, wait!" she cried. He stopped and turned around until he was facing her. She took a deep breath and drew up her all of her courage before she spoke. "I know why you're here and I know that you are scared. Believe me though, when I tell you that it really does help. I know."

He looked up at her inquisitively before he realized that she really did know what he was going through. He tightened his grip on her hand as they started to walk towards the gates together, hand in hand. "I haven't been here before," he started slowly. "It's been five years to the day and I haven't ever been here. I just couldn't face it."

"I understand, Patrick, I really do. It took me longer than this after my mom but I promise you that you will get through it and you will feel better." Lisbon explained truthfully. She hadn't ever opened up this much to anyone, but right now it felt like the time and if she could help Jane, she was willing to do anything.

They stopped walking for a minute and looked up at the sign that was fastened to the gate. _County Cemetery, _it read. They slowly pushed it open and walked inside, weaving their way through the grave stones until they found the ones that they were looking for. When Jane saw his wife and daughter's names etched into the marble stones he fell to the ground, the cardboard box he had been holding lay open on the grass with its contents spread everywhere. Lisbon put her hand on his shoulder, giving him a silent assurance that she was there and that she wasn't going anywhere.

She picked up the roses that had been discarded on the ground and handed them to Jane who laid them gently against the tombstones. The grass was still damp from the rain showers earlier in the day but Jane didn't care. He lay down in between his wife and daughter's plots and Lisbon moved to pick up the articles that had spilled from the box before sitting down beside him and stroking his hair as he let out five years worth of pain and regret.

Slowly the clouds started to roll away leaving a beautiful blue sky exposed. The sun came down in rays and shone down on them as they lay on the ground. Jane sat up and leaned against the stone and reached to pull the box from Lisbon's hands as she sat up and faced him.

"Why don't you tell me about them?" She asked. He didn't say anything for a moment and she thought that he would refuse, but much to her surprise he opened the box and pulled out some faded photographs that she doubted anyone aside from him had ever seen. She shifted so that she was sitting right next to him as he spoke.

"This is my daughter on the day she was born," he started. "She was so small and perfect. She rarely ever cried. My wife glowed the first time she held her, we were so happy. Sometimes, when I try really hard, I can still feel her tiny hand holding mine and it makes me melt inside all over again and then I remember and a part of me dies all over again."

They spent most of the afternoon going through the pictures that he had stored away in his box. Lisbon was pretty sure that he hadn't looked at them in a long time and judging by his emotional reactions to each new picture, her thoughts were confirmed. She was really glad that she was there because it was obvious that this was something he needed to do and would not have been able to go through on his own. They took turns sipping on the whiskey and pointing out certain pictures to each other. A couple of times, Lisbon could have sworn that she had seen a smile cross Jane's face, leaving her feeling slightly warmer inside.

As the sun started to set and the temperature dropped, Lisbon started to shiver a little bit. She didn't realize that they had been there that long! Jane noticed her reaction to the loss of sunlight and started to gather up his things before standing up and lending her a hand to help her up also. As they made their ways back to the cars, Jane couldn't help but feel a little bit lighter, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He felt slightly liberated. He opened his car door and put the box of photos down on the seat before turning back to Lisbon. He pulled her into a close hug and whispered his thanks.

"Thank you for being here Teresa," he started slowly. "I really don't know if I would have gone through with it if you didn't come."

"It was my honour." She said as she looked into his eyes. He took note of the honesty and sincerity swimming in hers as she looked at him. She had such honest eyes. "Like I said earlier," she continued, "I have been in the same boat as you and I know what it is like. Just remember that you are not saying goodbye, you are just letting them go on to bigger and better things than what this world could have offered them. And you know that you will see them again in Heaven," She finished fingering her gold cross slightly as she spoke.

He had never believed in any form of Heaven or afterlife before but he found himself wishing that her words held some sort of truth. He let her slowly pull away from him and he watched her as she turned to head back to her car.

"Hey Lisbon," he called after her. Now it was her turn to spin around to face him. "I have an idea…"

**T.B.C.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer- not mine.

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Jane's idea involved pizza. They had both driven back to Lisbon's house where they had ordered pizza and put on a movie. Lisbon had scrounged through her cupboards until she found an unopened bottle of wine which they happily shared. As they sat on the couch Jane turned to Lisbon and studied her intently. She was curled up against the armrest on the far side of the couch with her knees drawn up to her chest. She loosely held her glass of wine in her left hand while her right hand was busy twirling her hair; she was watching the movie with such intensity and Jane loved that he was able to watch her reactions and take them in without her even noticing that he was looking at her.

He was really impressed and rather pleased, although he would never really admit it, that it was her who had been there for him during that painful anniversary. She really was an amazing woman and she did not even know it. Jane decided then and there that he was going to try his best to show her his gratitude and thank her for being the one who always saved him.

He smiled a little when he noticed Lisbon laugh at what was going on in the movie; he really didn't have a clue what the plot was but he was certainly enjoying watching her enjoy it. He noticed that her wine glass was empty so he offered to take it and refill it for her. She nodded absently, attention still on the movie. Jane took her glass and headed towards the kitchen, taking advantage of the opportunity to look at the framed pictures that she had displayed on her bookshelves. He silently noticed the ones of her and her parents sitting together when she was a child and the ones of her and her brothers together. She seemed to have no current photos and none whatsoever to indicate the presence of friends in her life outside of work. That thought really peaked his interests; he knew that he had no life outside of work because he was spending all of his time trying to avenge the death of his family but it never had occurred to him before that perhaps Lisbon was much the same in that respect. Sure, she was not seeking to kill the person who ruined her childhood life, but perhaps she had some issues to deal with herself before she could move on in her life. He peered around the corner at Lisbon, who was still watching the movie; he was curious to know what kinds of baggage she was still holding on to so tightly and what it was that had broken this amazing woman so many years ago.

Suddenly Jane had the realization that he cared for her much more deeply than he originally thought and this thought scared him. Hadn't he just been at the cemetery mourning the loss of his dead wife and child? Lisbon had been there for him; he could still remember sitting on the grass with her looking at the pictures that he had brought with him. That gave him an idea but it would take a lot of convincing on his end in order to get Lisbon to agree to it.

Jane quickly refilled the two wine glasses before carrying them out to the living room where the movie was just finishing. As the credits rolled up the screen, Lisbon reached for the remote to turn the television off before she accepted the wine glass and looked up at Jane.

"For you," he said as he handed her the glass. She smiled at him as he sat down next to her and turned to face her, crossing his legs as he did so.

"I just wanted to thank you again for what you did for me today," he started. She shook her head and held up her index finger to stop him.

"There's no need. Like I said, I've been there and I know what it is like." She explained carefully as he looked at her, trying to read her thoughts. She was very guarded all the time and she took care to be even more so when he was around, even if it was outside of work hours and in her own home.

He reached out to lay a hand on her knee but she pulled away from his touch. He looked at her curiously but didn't press the issue. She had just done him an immense service and so he decided that now was not the time to grill her about what her involuntary reactions could possibly mean. He just looked at her before proceeding.

"Lisbon, I was noticing all the pictures on your shelves- the ones of you and your family…" he trailed off under her withering glare. He had not really expected _that _look but in hindsight he realized that it really shouldn't have surprised him. Her family had always been a subject that was off-limits with her just as it was with him. But… she had managed to get him to tell her about his wife and daughter and that was something that he had never done before, and after all, turnabout is fair play.

He decided to revise his approach and to try again. "You certainly have a lot of books," he noted. "Do you spend most of your spare time reading?"

"Oh… not really." She answered succinctly. He was getting nowhere fast and it was starting to irritate him. She shot him a look that was practically challenging him to ask her another question. He accepted the challenge.

"So then, if you don't read, what do you do in your spare time?" She looked at him like he was crazy.

"Spare time? I work obscene hours, Jane; I don't really have the luxury of spare time!" She shot back at him. She yawned pointedly before rising to her feet and heading towards her door to open it.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm really tired and would like to go to bed." Jane got the message and for once didn't fight it. He still felt like he owed her from earlier. He headed out the door but before he left he squeezed her shoulder slightly, an action from which she recoiled. He looked at her with a little hurt in his eyes. She smiled a small smile before waving goodbye.

That didn't really go as he had hoped. He was about to have to find and implement plan B, whatever that was.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: Please, please, please, please review! I really want to know what you think. Feel free to criticize, question, rip apart if necessary... **

**Disclaimer- no matter how much I want it, they won't give it to me. **

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Lisbon had locked herself in her office. That seemed to be the only way to escape from Jane today as he was being insufferable once again. She thought that he might take some time after the emotional turmoil that he went through on the fifth anniversary of his wife and daughter's death to refocus and reflect on his actions, but as it turns out he did not. And so here she was, hiding in her office once again.

Patrick noticed this change in behaviour and he was still convinced that getting her to confront whatever was in her past that stilted her social growth would be the best thing for her. He didn't stop to realize the irony of what he was trying to do since he pretty much had all of the same tendencies. He had his mind set on something and when Patrick Jane had an objective, nothing ever stood in his way, especially something as trivial as a locked door.

Jane grabbed a paperclip off of Cho's desk and proceeded to uncurl it into the perfect lock-picking device. Unfortunately for him, at that same moment Van Pelt chose to sneak up behind him and pull it out of his hands.

"What are you up to?" she asked emphatically. "You're not going to try to break into Lisbon's office now are you?" She looked pointedly in the direction where the senior agent was crouched over her desk dealing with mountains of paperwork no doubt.

"I'm hurt, Van Pelt," Jane started. "I didn't think that you could be so accusatory! Of course I'm not planning on invading Lisbon's privacy. She would shoot me."

"So what were you doing then?" the rookie asked.

"I accidentally locked my keys in my car this morning and I need to try and get them out if I ever want to get home tonight." Jane lied easily. The red head was so gullible that it was easy to get her to believe absolutely anything. Van Pelt looked at Jane with a skeptical expression on her face before the sound of footsteps behind her made her scurry off to her desk and resume working.

"JANE!" Lisbon's voice screamed across the bullpen. Jane looked up to see the storm clouds building behind her eyes as she stood tapping her foot with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Someone's in trouble." Rigsby stated in a sing-songy voice as Jane buried himself farther into his couch, trying to hide from the inevitable confrontation. Cho didn't even look up from his book as a sort of tension filled the bullpen.

"You have five seconds to get to my office, Jane…" Lisbon continued but was interrupted by a certain blond haired consultant.

"Or what? What'll happen if I get there in six?" He challenged.

Lisbon rolled her eyes and started to count down. "Five… four… three… two…"

Jane jumped up and ran in the direction of her office before she could get to 'one'. Even he felt like a naughty child who was trying to avoid punishment. He took a seat on Lisbon's couch and waited for her to catch up. She finally did and when she came in she shut the door and closed the blinds that covered the glass walls.

"What the hell, Jane!" She started holding up something for him to see. He was confused at first but then realization dawned on him as he noticed that the picture in his hand was the one from her shelf at home- the one of her and her parents that he had strategically left on her desk for her to find. He had hoped that this might trigger her to open up to him and share her childhood with him.

"I _told_ you that this was out of bounds. I thought that maybe _you_ of all people would understand that. Apparently I overestimated you, yet again. I assumed that you were an adult who was capable of respecting my wishes. Was I ever wrong! You will never be anything more than the five year old that I had to threaten by counting to get in my office." Jane opened his mouth to speak but she ignored him and kept on going. "I know you are going through a difficult time now and all, but I thought that I meant more to you than this. I thought that you might care enough about me not to steal my things and challenge the way in which I live my life. You know what; I can't even look at you right now!"

With that she grabbed her coat and slung it over her shoulder as she stormed out of her office. Cho, Rigsby, and Van Pelt, who had been sitting quietly in the bullpen listening to the shouting match occur hurried to busy themselves so as not to be on the receiving end of one of Lisbon's angry rants. Whatever Jane had done must have been pretty bad though, they figured, because Lisbon never ever left work in the mid afternoon. Quietly, Jane emerged from Lisbon's office wearing and expression of shock and confusion on his face and not even bothering to cover it with his patented mask.

"What'd you do?" Cho asked with his normal deadpan expression. He kept his eyes focused on the pages of his book but he waited attentively for the answer.

"Ummm…" Jane started. "I'm not quite sure, but when I figure it out, I'll let you know." He finished lamely before wandering over to his couch and lying down. Lisbon had told him earlier that talking about whatever was wrong was a positive way of coping. She said that it had helped her before, but why wasn't it working now? She was clearly sad, otherwise why would she be fighting as hard as she was? Nothing was adding up to Jane and he decided that the best course of action would be to lay low for a little while to let Lisbon cool off but then to go and find her and try to make things better.

He couldn't get the image of her leaning against him as he relived his memories and they shared the whiskey at the cemetery. Then he remembered how she had flinched away from his touch later on that same day when he'd tried to return the favour. He much preferred the former version of Lisbon and he would try anything to get that back.

Slowly Cho and the others left for the night, Van Pelt and Rigsby taking care to leave separately so that no one would suspect that anything was going on between them, even if the whole building already knew. Jane stayed on his couch until the room was empty and the sky grew dark.

* * *

At her house, Lisbon was running herself a hot bath in the attempt to relieve the tension headache that had built up in her head over the course of the day. She grabbed what remained of the bottle of wine that she and Jane had shared and drained it into a juice glass. It was quite unconventional she knew, but she hadn't had the time to do the dishes since she had used up the other glasses. She tried to remember the number of drinks that she'd had in the last week and was shocked to find out that she couldn't remember. That thought scared her a lot.

As she slipped into the warm water, she breathed a sigh of relief. She was safe in here. It was one of the few places that she could escape the stresses of the day and really relax. The fact that there was no Patrick Jane was just an added perk. Its not that she didn't like the man, she did, perhaps more than she was willing to admit, it was just that he had a tendency to find her last nerve and get on it. She didn't need that right now.

She thought back to the afternoon that they had spent in the cemetery together. He had seemed like such a different person then. She had never seen him lose control like that; of course she had seen the anger and rage build up behind his eyes whenever they worked on a Red John case, but she had never seen it spill over the edge before. He had surprisingly been one of the more stable presences in her life and seeing him lose control like that scared her.

Why on earth was he trying to get her to talk about her family or what she did in her spare time anyways? It's not like he doesn't already know; he usually can figure her out in a second _without _her having to actually tell him anything. Sometimes she finds that characteristic of him annoying, but other times she finds it reassuring that someone can understand her without her having to constantly explain herself.

The water had cooled off considerably and she decided that the time had come for her to get out and try and either relax and go to bed or to review some of the files of cases that she hadn't solved yet. As of right now, the former seemed so much more appealing. She climbed out of the tub and slipped her large white towel around her before going towards the door. As soon as she opened it, she sensed that something was not right and as she rounded the corner, she screamed as she came face to face with…


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Please review and let me know what you think! Is it dragging out too long now- should I keep writing or just resolve the whole issue quickly?**

**Disclaimer: still not mine. **

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"JANE!!!" Lisbon screamed, sounding furious. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE??!!"

Jane looked at her appraisingly and Lisbon looked down only to remember that all she was wearing was her oversized white towel. She pulled it tighter around her as she backed herself into her bathroom once again. She shot Jane a venomous look before closing the door in his face.

"I'm going to count to ten and when I am finished, you had better have left." She shouted as she leaned her back against the door and slowly lowered herself until she was sitting on the ground. She banged her head a couple of times against the door in frustration, each time creating a resounding thud.

"Gee, I'm really sorry Lisbon," Jane started, "I didn't think that you would be in such a compromising position. I'll go wait in your kitchen for you."

"No." Lisbon retorted sternly, "you had better be gone by the time I come downstairs. I told you already that I don't want to talk to you. I am still angry with you from earlier and you have just made it worse for yourself. If you know what is good for you, you will leave before I start shooting."

Jane grimaced at the thought. Surely Lisbon wouldn't actually shoot him! He wandered away from the bathroom door and meandered down the hall towards the kitchen. He opened the door, preparing to leave but then he had another idea. He loudly closed the door before tip toeing as quietly as he could over to her couch where he sat down in the darkness of her living room while he waited for her to change and come downstairs.

Nearly twenty minutes later, Lisbon made her way down the stairs wearing a pair of yoga pants and a very modest t-shirt. She had her hair pulled back in a loose pony-tail. As she made her way to her kitchen in search of something to eat, she noticed that Jane was sitting on her couch and although that did not surprise her, it did serve to irritate her again. She ignored him pointedly as she walked through the room and into the kitchen. Jane stood up hastily to follow her like a puppy trotting happily after its human companion. He tried to start a conversation several times but she ignored his every attempt, finding something else to occupy her. Jane could tell that he was bothering her, but he thought that maybe if he annoyed her enough it might break down her defences and she would then open up and move on.

He moved steadily closer to her and just as he was close enough to hug her, she turned around with a loathsome expression on her face.

"Do you not think that I know what you are trying to do?" She asked. "You think that I have some large problem that I need to unload. The truth is I am fine; it is you who has the problem."

Jane looked momentarily hurt but he continued to inch closer to her. She noticed this and wormed her way out from between him and the counter and she walked over to the living room and sat down on the couch. "I'm not projecting, as you say, I seriously think that you have something that you want to tell me. Something that you have never told anyone; this piece of your past has stilted your interactions in the present and it will continue to do so until you open up and tell someone about it."

"You're wrong. You are seeing things that are not there. You just want there to be a problem because you cannot stand the thought of me helping you once again. You don't realize that the only reason that you need all this help is because of the choices that you have made. Its not my fault and it is not my problem. You don't take responsibility for your actions and now you can't live with yourself so you make it MY problem. It is your fault." She finished strongly. She hadn't meant to sound so harsh, the words just flew out, releasing her pent up frustrations. She failed to notice the change in his demeanour as she spoke.

Her words cut him deeply. He could not believe that this was the same Lisbon who had stayed with him that afternoon in the cemetery, helping him get through his painful day of memories. He looked up at her with cold eyes before replying in a quiet, dangerous voice.

"You don't think I know that?" He started. "You don't think that I know that it was my stupid actions that got my wife and daughter killed? I am well aware that actions have consequences and I do not need your reminder of that fact." He showed her his wedding band before continuing. "This is reminder enough."

With that, he picked up his things and got to his feet before storming out of her apartment. Lisbon tried to erase the look of shock from her face. She hadn't thought about his wife and daughter when she had said what she said. She felt immediately sick with guilt and before she knew what she was doing she flung open the door and started to chase after Jane in her bare feet.

"Jane! Wait! Come back!" she called before she collapsed on the ground in tears. "I'm sorry…" she muttered to herself before getting up and heading back inside the iciness of her house. She had just undone all of the good work that she had tried to do earlier when she helped him to remember his family in a positive way. She had taken his vengeful thoughts and thrown them right in his face because she was angry. Why did she never think? Now all she could do was imagine Jane driving alone and upset and that was all her fault.

**T.B.C**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Please review? Pretty pretty please?**

**Disclaimer: not mine  
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Jane didn't show up to work the next day. This didn't really surprise Lisbon since she knew how upset he had been over the last few days and especially as he left her house the previous night. It was after a week of his absence that she grew seriously concerned about his welfare.

One day, a week after her argument with Jane in her apartment, Lisbon found herself sitting at her desk trying to think of all the places Jane could have possibly gone and she kept drawing blanks. Trying to think of where she might be able to seek inspiration, she rose from her seat and headed out into the bullpen in search of any of her team members who might be able to help in her quest. She strode purposefully into the room before she stopped in front of Van Pelt's desk where she turned to look at her three dynamic team members.

"Have any of you heard anything from Jane lately?" she asked, trying to keep the trepidation from showing in her voice.

"No… We thought that you had approved him for some time off." Rigsby readily supplied. Lisbon looked anxious before informing them that she also had no idea where Jane might be. She decided that they needed to spring into action if they were going to find him before it was potentially too late.

"Cho, you go check his house in Malibu, take Van Pelt with you." She instructed. "Rigsby, you keep trying to call him and check his phone records and credit card bills to see if you can pinpoint a location. Let me know if you guys hear anything." With that she hurried back to her office where she locked her door behind her.

"Jane…" she muttered, "where are you?"

* * *

The drive to Jane's house was long and tedious. Since Cho was not a great conversationalist, Van Pelt was left mainly with her thoughts as she watched the countryside roll by. She wondered what had happened to Jane; he hadn't been the same ever since she met him heading out of the parking lot that morning a few days ago. She was quite worried about him and could only imagine what Lisbon was feeling. Van Pelt had a sneaking suspicion that Lisbon knew more about what had happened to Jane than she was letting on. Her thoughts were voiced by Cho as he kept his eyes on the road.

"What do you think happened between Lisbon and Jane?" he asked as he turned to look at her briefly.

"I'm not sure… what makes you think that something happened between them?" Cho gave her a pointed look and Van Pelt nodded slowly. Of course something had happened; there was no other reasonable explanation for Lisbon's intense concern and Jane's odd behaviour. He didn't always let Lisbon into his plans, but he never vanished for this long without telling her what he was up to.

The trip proved fruitless. When they arrived at Jane's house, they found no evidence that he had been there recently. Everything was still very neat and intact and growing rather dusty with the lack of use. After doing a thorough sweep of the house Cho and Van Pelt headed back to the car where Cho pulled out his phone to call Lisbon and let her know what they had found, or more specifically, who they hadn't found.

* * *

Lisbon's phone started to vibrate in her pocket a few seconds before the rings started to sound. She picked it up hastily hoping for good news.

"Lisbon." She said.

"Hi Boss," Cho's voice rang through on the other end. "He's not at his house. We can't find any indications of where he might have gone."

Lisbon leaned against her desk to steady herself before she replied, "alright. You might as well head back here since Rigsby hasn't come up with any leads either." She hung up the phone and made her way back to her desk to brainstorm.

Why couldn't she think? Her brain felt cloudy and her stomach felt tight with worry. She wished that it were possible to go back in time so that she could take back everything she had said. Although Jane was being terribly irritating, she should have thought before she spoke. Why didn't she ever think? She smacked her face against her desk, only contributing to her growing headache.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Rigsby opened it slightly before poking his head around the corner to seek permission to enter her office. She granted it. He slipped into her office and stood warily in front of her desk, looking at her with a slight hint of fear in his eyes.

She looked up at him expectantly. "Yes?" she questioned, her pitch rising as she spoke. She waited as he took a deep breath before answering her.

"There was just a hit on Jane's credit card- at a convenience store just outside of Sacramento." Lisbon could have hit herself. Of course that would be where Jane would go! Why on earth did she not think to check there- she had only been there a couple of days ago.

"Call Cho and Van Pelt, tell them to meet us at the county cemetery right up the dirt road from his house. It should be about 10 kilometres away from his place." Rigsby nodded before doing as he was told. Lisbon grabbed her coat, gun, and keys before exiting her office and rushing off after Rigsby. Together they made their way to her car as she waited with baited breath to see if she was right about where Jane was. She just hoped that everything was alright.

Lisbon gripped the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles grew white and she started to lose the feeling in her hands. She didn't pay much attention though since she was trying to get to Jane as fast as she possibly could. Rigsby was doing his best to help calm Lisbon down, but since nothing he said was working he resorted to searching the vehicle for anything that he could eat. He didn't find any food but he did manage to unearth a pack of gum. He took a slice and offered it to Lisbon who refused. Eventually they pulled off the main highway and on to the gravel road, past the flower stand, and towards the cemetery. The dust rose around them, impairing their vision, but Lisbon was too worried to care. She drove on with calculated speed before slowing to a stop in front of the familiar wrought iron gates. Cho and Van Pelt were already there.

Lisbon hopped out of the car as Van Pelt stormed towards her, grabbing on to her shoulder and turning her around before she could make her way into the cemetery. She could faintly hear the sounds of Cho shouting into his cell phone with a sense of urgency and she could hear Rigsby's voice join the din. She looked at Van Pelt in the hope that the rookie would tell her what was going on. No luck though… all she received was a sympathetic look. Lisbon noticed that the red head had tear trails dried onto her cheeks and her eyes were red and puffy. That was all Lisbon needed. She fought out of Van Pelt's embrace and ran towards the entrance to the cemetery, pushing past Cho and Rigsby until she found the graves of Patrick's wife and daughter.

There on the plots was a sight that made Lisbon quickly double over and lose her lunch before collapsing on the ground, shaking with silent screams coursing through her body. She grabbed onto the shoulders of Jane, who was lying in a crumpled form on the ground, shaking him slightly and letting his blood soak her jeans a little bit. She had no idea what had happened to him but she felt as if she was no longer living; everything passed in a blur, she couldn't see anything or comprehend anything that was happening but she felt a pair of strong hands pull her into a standing position and hold her there as the sound of sirens came in the distance. As the sounds drew closer, she gave in to the hands that were holding her as her world faded to black…

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: This is one of the final chapters of this fic. I really have to wrap it up in the next couple of days... I thank everyone who has reviewed so far! I really appreciate it :)**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

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Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

The annoying sound seemed to seep its way into Jane's mind as he tried to focus on the images that were playing in his mind. He wasn't quite certain whether he was awake or dreaming, but he knew that he would much prefer the state that he was in if the irritating noise would disappear. He let himself slip back into the world where he could no longer hear or feel what was going on around him; all he could see were the smiling faces of his wife and daughter as they walked down a familiar path that was bathed in sunlight. All of a sudden the sky above him grew dark and the wind picked up and he saw his beautiful family being torn away from him and no matter how much he tried to fight against the wind, he just couldn't make it to them, he couldn't save them. He started to convulse in his bed as the sounds of evil laughter filled his mind- the words "your fault" spinning around and around in his mind.

The beeping of the heart monitor increased in speed and intensity as the doctors rushed into the room in order to try and stop the convulsions. After injecting him with a sedative, Jane calmed down and fell back into a deep but dreamless sleep. He had no idea that a thoroughly panicked Lisbon had been watching the whole ordeal through the glass walls of the room.

She had been brought in to the hospital and kept for observations but the doctors were not overly concerned about her. They attributed her loss of consciousness to the shock of finding Patrick lying on his family's grave with a gun in his hand and serious blood loss seemingly coming from a wound in his head. He had pulled through and was in stable condition now, a fact for which she was deeply grateful, but she had no idea how he would react when he woke up. She hoped that he would one day become the smiling, scheming Patrick Jane that her and her team had come to know and love. Yes, she thought to herself, love.

She felt so unbelievably guilty about what had happened to him; after all, it was obvious that he didn't much care for his own well being and so it had become her main responsibility to make sure that he avoided doing anything stupid that would put him or others in danger. She had failed him and she had neglected this responsibility. His self destruction was caused because of something that she had said and no matter what the others assured her, she could not help but torture herself because of it. She was in so deep now and she had no idea how, or even if, she could ever make things better again.

As she rose to her feet, unshed tears were glistening in her eyes as she contemplated the decision that she had to make. Lisbon grabbed her coat and turned on her heel, making for the door all the while thinking that the best thing that she could to for him was to walk away.

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Jane awoke to an empty hospital room, the dull beeping of his heart rate monitor still echoing in the back of his mind. He wondered how he had come to be in the hospital and who it was that had found him after he had tried to go and join his family once and for all. He had a suspicion, but he chose not to think about it because that thought was too painful.

He vaguely wondered if Lisbon had even been in to see him; he assumed that she would have because she was the kind of person who would be letting their last conversation replay over and over in her mind, trying to blame herself for his actions. 'As she should,' he thought venomously for a second before taking it back and feeling ashamed of himself. It wasn't entirely her fault and she should not be held responsible for his actions, he concluded. She had merely voiced what he knew in his head all along: that he was trying to project his emotions and pain onto her and by trying to 'help' her, he was actually trying to avoid taking responsibility for his actions, especially those pertaining to her. This realization left him feeling tired and emotionally drained. He leaned back against his pillows, wondering where Lisbon was and what she was doing. On the one hand he wanted to talk to her and to try to make things right, but on the other hand he wasn't sure if he could ever really face seeing her again, especially after what he had just done to himself.

He wished that there was a way that he could go back in time and undo the events of the last couple of days but he knew that that was impossible. Once again he would have to live with the outcomes of his behaviour and he knew what his first step was going to be.

Three long weeks later Jane was released from the hospital and the first thing he did was take a cab to Lisbon's house in the hope that he might be able to talk to her and try to make things right. He climbed out of the car with a certain intensity and made his way up the steps to her door but stopped dead in his tracks when he realized that her car was not in its usual parking spot AND there was a number of strange possessions littering the front of the house that Jane was pretty sure did not belong to Lisbon. He peered through the windows only to confirm his suspicions before he sat down on the steps. Did Lisbon not live here anymore? And if not, where on earth would she have gone?

He half walked- half ran the couple of blocks to the CBI headquarters where he was cheerfully greeted by the security guard at the gate as he entered.

"Good morning Mr. Jane! Glad to see you're feeling better!"

Jane gave him a quick nod and a smile before proceeding up to the floor where the Serious Crimes Unit worked. He realized quickly that he had not been in this building since the morning of the anniversary of his wife and daughter's death.

As he walked into the bullpen he was welcomed cheerfully by his co-workers. He graciously accepted their well-wishes before politely excusing himself to go and find Lisbon as she was probably in her office. He arrived at her office only to find it vacated temporarily; he was quite confused and went to go and try and find out what was going on with Lisbon from one of the team. Cho, he thought, would be the most likely to provide him with that information.

"Hey Cho!" Jane called as he picked up his pace to catch up with the agent. "Do you know where Lisbon is?"

Cho turned around and looked at him for a moment, clearly deciding whether or not he should disclose that information.

"Come on, I know you know." Jane continued to badger him until he finally gave in.

"She got offered a job on the east coast. She starts in a week so she is probably trying to get everything ready for the move. She's staying at the Pine Lodge until she leaves, you'd better hurry though. And… don't tell her I told you. "

Jane thanked Cho quickly before rushing off to find her. There was no way that he could let her just up and leave like that. They had so much stuff to sort through and… he didn't think that he could live without her. She had been a constant in his life for so long, and he had to admit that he couldn't picture his life without her. It was that realization that led him to the Pine Lodge and that found him knocking frantically on her door.

**TBC**

**Please review!  
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	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: This is the last chapter! I'm sorry if it seems kind of Affair to Remember/Sleepless in Seattle- esque... in its ending. Please review! Don't be afraid to critique it so that I can try to make my next stories better.**

**Disclaimer: Oh how I wish...**

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Jane stood outside, knocking for what felt like hours when in reality it was something more akin to minutes. Unfortunately for him, Lisbon was in the shower and could not hear a thing going on outside her door. Jane stood on his tip-toes and grasped on to the window sill for support as he looked into her window to try and see where she was or if she was just ignoring him. He didn't see her but he noted that she had numerous suitcases littering the room. It looked like she was planning on driving to the East coast…

Suddenly Jane noticed the interior door open and a towel-clad Lisbon walk into the bedroom. As much as he wanted to stay where he was and watch, Jane figured that he had a better chance of making things right with Lisbon if she didn't catch him peering at her through the window. He gave her a couple minutes to change before knocking on her door once again. This time she answered it within seconds.

Lisbon let out a small gasp when she realized that it was indeed Patrick Jane standing on her doorstep. She smiled, however, as she stepped aside to let him in. He walked past her without looking up and made himself comfortable on the chair in the corner while she went to take a seat on her bed. They sat in something of an uncomfortable silence for a couple minutes before Jane spoke up.

"So, you're leaving?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," she replied. "I got a job back home and it is a great opportunity, plus it allows me to live closer to my brothers. I'm sorry I didn't tell you." She finished weakly.

He looked up at her with such intensity that she felt suddenly ashamed of the fact that she didn't tell him she was leaving. She quickly cast her eyes downwards in the attempt to avoid his gaze.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She hesitated for a moment. "I just couldn't… I've hurt you enough in the past few days; I just thought it would be better for you if I just left." Her eyes filled up with tears and he could see her chin starting to tremble from across the room. He wanted to get up and hug her but before he could act she started to speak again. "I'm so so sorry, Jane. I'm sorry for what I said, it was stupid and I didn't think. And then when you… you…" she was sobbing at this point and Jane could not understand what she was saying but he knew what she meant. He couldn't take it anymore; he walked over to the bed and sat down beside her, pulling her into a tight hug. She didn't pull away this time, rather she laid her head against his shoulder and ran her hands through his hair, feeling the spot where the bullet had penetrated his skin.

"I looked down and all I saw was b-b-blood," she continued shakily, "and I thought you had died!" She started to bawl uncontrollably at this point and Jane just held her, stroking her hair gently and rubbing circles on her back. He felt all of his former anger evaporating as he sat there. She had clearly tortured herself because of what had happened and he hated seeing her like this.

Eventually she pulled away from him, wiping away the remaining tears from her eyes as she whispered, "I'm so sorry, Jane, can you ever forgive me?" He looked at her before thumbing away her tears and nodding gently.

"Of course, Lisbon, you've done so much for me in these last few years and I cannot imagine what my life would be like without you." He blushed suddenly before he was able to catch himself and hastily rearrange his facial features, hoping that she didn't notice. She did. They sat together in a comfortable silence before Lisbon spoke.

"I should probably go to bed," she started. "I have an early flight tomorrow." She pulled back the covers on her bed before climbing in and pulling the blankets up to her chin. Jane leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead before heading towards the door. He was glad he came to say goodbye, but he could not bear the thought of her leaving. He turned around to look back at Lisbon but she had already fallen asleep. He scribbled a quick note and placed it carefully on her nightstand for her to find when she woke up. Then he turned around and left her hotel room hoping with all he had that she would find the note before it was too late.

Lisbon awoke to bright sunlight and the sound of birds chirping. She was a little disoriented since she wasn't used to sleeping anywhere but in her room at home. Then she remembered that she was supposed to catch a flight out east at 6:30 this morning. She turned to look at the clock on her nightstand and was shocked to see it read 6:25. Lisbon hopped out of bed in a panic as she quickly realized that there was no way that she would be able to make it to the airport in time. She scrambled around her room trying to get everything together so that she could go catch a later flight. In her haste to leave the hotel room, she never found Patrick's note.

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She checked out of the hotel and started to make her way to her car only to realize that someone was leaning against it with two coffees in hand.

"Please don't go."

One look into his eyes and she could see that he was actually pleading with her. He took no notice of the shocked expression on her face as he continued to speak.

"I need you. You are the only person who has ever given me a reason to get up in the mornings and you mean so much to me. I can't lose you too."

She wasn't sure how to react. She smiled a small smile as she took the keys from his hand, brushing it slightly with her own as she did. "Do you think that you can convince Hightower to give me my job back?" she asked. Jane looked genuinely surprised; that was _not_ the response he had expected. He held out a coffee to her, which she gratefully accepted. Together they loaded all of her bags into the car and headed off towards the CBI headquarters.

It would take a while for both of them to get back to their regular routine and banter, but they were both content to try. After all, looking out for each other was their cardinal responsibility.

**End.**


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